Friday, June 3, 2011

July 3rd

A year ago today I became a mother...

6:00am
I eat half a bagel
7:00am
Contractions start and are about 2 minutes apart.
8:00am
Contractions still 1.5 - 2 minutes apart
9:00am
Contractions still 1.5 - 2 minutes apart
10:00am
Contractions still 1.5 - 2 minutes apart

This continues for a very long time.  I wasn't dilating so they gave me a foley bulb and told me that I should walk around a bit.  This was not easy and very messy.  I remember the nurse scolding me for getting blood all over the wires when I tried to get up to use the bathroom.  I started crying.   My amazing husband Ron told me that it wasn't my fault and I think he yelled at the nurse.

3:00pm
When I ask for pain medication the nurse tells me that my contractions aren't strong enough... "You are only having medium contractions"  OK LADY BUT I'VE BEEN HAVING THEM EVERY ONE AND A HALF MINUTES FOR 8 HOURS AND I HAVEN'T EATEN!!!  (I get very cranky when I don't eat)  She also said that they wouldn't give me an epidural until we were committed to having the baby today.  WHY DO YOU THINK I'M HERE LADY!?!?

3:30pm
The nurse gives in and sends in the anesthesiologist... let's call him jerk face.  And the fun begins!  I told him that I had scoliosis and he told me that it wouldn't be a problem.  Four tries later the jerk face finally gets the epidural in, but now my right leg is kicking uncontrollably.  No exaggeration, it was kicking from the knee down like someone was testing my reflexes.  My best friend the nurse finally said something to jerk face and his response was that he would try to fix it.  TRY!?!  At some point in time during this whole fiasco, my husband disappears.  I'm being jabbed in the spine repeatedly and my husband is feeling faint.

3:45pm
They break my water.

I guess I could go on and on hour by hour, but the contractions stayed 2 minutes apart the rest of the day into the evening.  Every once in a while the doctor would come in and check my dilation.  At some point in time early evening I was 5 cm dilated but Lilla was very content where she was.

6:00pm
12 hrs without food.

10:00pm
Ron and I begin to wonder if Lilla would be a June 4th baby.

10:30pm
Doctor comes in and tells me it's time to discuss c section.  Of course the OR's were both full and we would have to wait.

When we finally got into the OR the doctor told me that my dilation had actually decreased... I didn't know that was possible.  Ron put on his funny scrubs, stood at my head and talked to me the whole time.  They strapped my arms down and I just remember shaking uncontrollably.  We smelled something burning and figured that meant that they started.

11:26pm
Lilla is born!  I remember waiting to hear her cry... it felt like eternity.  Then there was this small little coo, or now that I know her, maybe it was a pout but certainly not a cry.  I didn't get a chance to hold my little girl or even see her because I started having severe chest pains and difficulty breathing.  I needed to vomit, but how do I do that when I'm strapped to a table?  I don't really remember a whole lot about the end of my surgery.  I do remember three people putting all of their weight on my rib cage to try to deliver the placenta, I remember throwing up a lot and having to aim for a small cup that they gave Ron to hold (he says I threw up in his face but I'm sure that's not true)  I remember my chest hurting so bad, not being able to breath and being pumped full of drugs to the point where I thought I was forgetting to breathe.  But the worst of all of it was that I remember thinking that I'd never get to hold my baby, and that she would never get to know me, or know how much I loved her.  At some point during all of this mess they rushed Ron out of the room.  He sat alone in our delivery room holding his brand new baby girl thinking that he was going to be a single father.

The doctor decided to staple my incision because of all of the pain I was in and she could finish quicker.  They later told me that they thought I was just having deferred pain.

June 4th 3:30am
I finally get to meet and hold my precious little angel.  She was so perfect and to me she looked just like my mother.  I have rocked her to sleep almost every night of her life (the other ones were Ron's nights) and loved every minute of it.  She has changed my life and I feel very lucky to be her mommy.

Happy first birthday Lilla!  My little little Lilla.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

June 2nd

We started off the day celebrating my husband's birthday by going to Denny's, his favorite place to get breakfast.    He got his free gram slam and I got a pancake puppy fudge sundae!!!  Hey, I was 9 months pregnant, don't judge me.

My husband left work to come home and pick me up.  He dropped me off at the nail salon and returned to work.  I got my nails done and had a pedicure trying not to think about what was ahead of me.  Naomi, my nail girl, told me I had the biggest feet she's ever seen and that I should take a picture to show Lilla what she put me through.  



We arrived at the hospital around 7:00pm and started to settle in.  They gave me something to "ripen" my cervix and something to help me sleep since the next day would probably be a long one.  Had I known what it would really be like, I would have taken two.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

June 1st

May 31, 2010
A year ago today I was given a choice.

We were sitting in the doctors office if you could call what I was doing sitting.  I was nine months pregnant, 1 week from my due date and felt like a bloated hippo.  They examined me (super fun) and said that it looked like she wasn't coming anytime soon.  Lilla had been a big baby from the beginning and they were concerned about me being able to deliver her.  The choice was between being induced, having the chance that it wouldn't work and have to have a c section or waiting until she was ready, having the possibility that she would be too big and have to have a c section anyway.

We knew what we would choose before the words even came out of her mouth.  INDUCE!!!   We were scheduled to be admitted the next night and be induced the day after.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

One in 30 Million

I know that all mothers think that their children are special, but my little Lilla is one in 30 million, or more accurately, according to the Office of Rare Diseases of the National Institutes of Health, less than 1 in 200,000 in the United States.

A few weeks ago my special baby, who hardly ever cries and charms nearly everyone she meets with her charm and personality [just like daddy (not the crying part)] became very irritable and feverish.  She was diagnosed with a urinary tract infection and had to be hospitalized for 3 days to get antibiotics intravenously.  While at the hospital she had an ultrasound which showed a pocket of fluid that they thought could be a cyst.  

Yesterday we met with the urologist and they confirmed that Lilla has a very rare condition called an urachal cyst.  I could be reading it wrong, but I found an article which says that this type of condition occurs in 1 out of 30 million births.  

When we are tiny little babies still in our mothers womb, we have umbilical cords.  The part of the umbilical cord that attaches our bladder to our soon to be bellybutton is called the urachus.  In most children, the urachus disappears before birth, but in less than 1 in 200,000, it doesn't.  Of those less than 1, 65% have discharge from the bellybutton and 35% have no discharge but show symptoms of lower abdominal pain, fever, pain with urination, urinary tract infection or hematuria.  Lilla is one of those 35%.  

The urologist suggested surgery to remove the cyst and put Lilla on another antibiotic to keep any bacteria from growing in her urine beforehand.  Without surgery she is likely to have major problems with urinary tract infections and if not caught in time could cause more serious problems like kidney infections.  The doctor said that if she hadn't been hospitalized for the first infection they might want to just keep an eye on the cyst, but since she was hospitalized, it's best to just get it out of her.

We've scheduled the procedure for the middle of May and so I get a month of time to stress myself out and worry.  Of course I worry about the surgery itself and for the safety and well being of my only child, but I also worry about her being self conscious of the three scars that she will have, not being able to wear a bikini, or kids making fun of her.

So for the next month I will be trying to distract myself from my thoughts by snuggling and spoiling my favorite little human.  Statistically she might be 1 in 30 million, but to me she is the best daughter in ALL the world.