BFF minus the last F

I've been thinking a lot about relationships. Specifically, my relationships. Not necessarily current ones, but the how and why. I guess it's something that I've always thought about. Why did God put this person in my life and what was it that brought us together?

I spent a lot of time thinking about one person in particular this week because we've been chatting on Facebook and the phone. She has always been very near and dear to me. She is one of those people who loves you no matter what. Even though we don't live close anymore and we don't talk all of the time, I can say that she knows me, she gets me, she knows how I think and what makes me tick. I don't really feel comfortable talking about losing my parents, but I can with her. And maybe it's because she knew them and they loved her but maybe it's because she's just that awesome.

I think about how lucky I am to have this person in my life, how she has made me be a better person and how she was there for me in times when my family couldn't. And then I think about how we became close.

Some people might think these events are untrue but this is how I remember them.

In junior high and part of high school I had one serious BFF minus the last F.  We both were part of a small circle of friends, but most of our time was spent together. We swapped clothes, made each other mix tapes and wrote each other letters when we were on vacation and couldn't talk everyday. Then one day she started lying to me. I had suspicions that she was lying to me and when I confronted her about it, she lied again and again and again. What she was lying to me about hurt me but the months and months of lies hurt me more. Our friendship was over and I found myself alone. Our little circle of friends seemed to take her side; I didn't share the real reason of our ended friendship with my parents because I didn't want them to view her differently. I was a teenager and I was alone.

This is when God gave me Colleen. I knew her, we had French class together, I think we were even in kindergarten together before she went to Christian school. But other crazy circumstances in my life (another bad thing that happened to me) pushed me into a cheerleading squad that I wouldn't have normally been in. And here we were sitting on a bus together, playing Game Boys, singing songs with super fun, goofy choreography becoming friends.

And so in the middle of my teenage drama grew this amazing friendship that would be an integral part of my adult life. She is someone who even in the midst of her own trials is an example of a Godly woman, wife, mother and friend. I am so blessed by our friendship that I'm almost grateful that my old BFF was minus the last F... Almost. :)

Lilla's favorites 2013

Tomorrow my baby girl is turning three. Over the past few days I've been trying to ask her some questions that I hope to ask her every year. She's quite silly at times and got a bit creative. Thank you Auntie Shell for your help.

 1. What is your favorite color?
Yellow

 2. What is your favorite toy?
 turtle sea pet or hello kitty

 3. What is your favorite fruit?
Strawberries

 4. What is your favorite tv show?
Elmo

 5. What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch?
 Sandwiches

 6. What is your favorite outfit?
My yellow polka dot shirt

 7. What us your favorite game?
 She avoided this question :)

 8. What is your favorite snack?
Hello kitty fruit snacks

 9.What is your favorite animal?
Turtle

 10.What is your favorite song?
This is a song about elmo by Adam Sandler

 11. What is your favorite movie?
 Wallie

 12. What is your favorite book?
Little ladybug

 13.Who is your best friend?
Leah

 14. What is your favorite sport?
Sporting

 15. What is your favorite drink?
Orange juice

 16. What do you like to do outside?
Kick in the pool

 17. What is your favorite holiday?
Daddy's birthday (today) or Christmas

 18. What do you like to sleep with at night?
Heart pillow and blanket and angry bird blankets and elmo blanket

 19. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast?
Cereal

 20. What do you want to eat for dinner on your birthday?
Cupcakes

 21. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Doctor

Utah

Many things have changed in my life over the years. I moved from Center City Philadelphia to West Chester, PA to Newtown Square, PA to Aldan, PA to Epping, NH to where I am now, Raymond NH.  I watched both of my parents fight and lose their battle with cancer. I got married and now have the two most amazing little girls. Through all of the changes in my life there was one constant, my little black kitty, Utah.  Today I am saying goodbye to that constant in my life and to my very first and most loyal and loving pet.

16 yrs ago I was a senior at the University of the Arts and I had finally moved into an apartment that would allow me to have a cat. I walked into the Morris Animal Refuge and this tiny little kitty crawled up the front of her cage, over all of the other kittens to get to me. I held her for a few minutes and fell in love.  My friend from school Shai Linne and I enjoyed over-pronouncing and repeating funny words like Pabst, Tallahassee and Utah. (Go ahead pronounce each syllable, they are funny words). Anyway that's how Utah got her name.


So thank you Utah for all of the love and companionship these last 16 yrs.  Thank you for making my father like cats and for letting my daughters pull your tail and ears. But most of all, thank you for picking me.  I'm sorry that I could not be with you in the end, but I've seen death one too many times.  I love you.  Good night.